An Optimistic Cynic - Etsy Shop

Monday, January 30, 2012


Custom order hat. She wanted, and I quote, "A floppy black hat with a giant, big-ass, pink flower. Like shockingly big."
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Monday, January 16, 2012

WTF Crafting: Awful Upcycled Clothing

Upcycled Clothing is Frankensteined bits and pieces of old clothing made into a new garment. Or "garment". There's a lot of really cool upcycled clothing out there to be had.

But sometimes this happens.

Shirtpants are sooooo hawt right now, you guys.

*rubs eyes*



I’ve never claimed to be some kind of fashion guru, but I’m pretty sure a hoodie is not pants.
I am about 97% sure that a hoodie is NOT pants. 

This is a great outfit for the adventurous cat lady trying to be left the hell alone at the supermarket, or for getting away with talking to yourself out loud at the movies.

 I'm... I'm just so confused.

Hey, where'd my shirt go? Oh, it's right on my shirt, with my shirts.

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Monday, January 9, 2012

The Almighty Thor!

This is Thor. He is a Jacob's Sheep. He has four - FOUR - badass horns, and from what I can tell by the pic, some serious laser vision.

My badass sister aquired his soft soft sheepyness, which I then crocheted up into this badass skinny scarf. Check out the color and texture in that thing!


Who wore it best?

Dapper Horse

 More ties = even more dapperer.

I rub Bacon on everything I own.


(You wish you had an ass like this, bitch)


'Poker Face' has just started for the 4th time this morning. It's only 6:30.

 Or maybe just crochet more scarves.
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Monday, January 2, 2012

WTF Crafting: Plarn

Save those shopping bags! Thousands of them. Because that’s how many you’re going to need to make that new area rug/basket/ugly ass bag/coaster set/potholder.


 Also, keep in mind that plastic melts, or you’ll end up scraping stubborn bits of plastic off the bottom of your hot coffee mug, or that pot you absentmindedly used the - uh - pot holder for. So once you have enough bags to warrant a Hoarders-style intervention, you cut the bags into strips, and you link the strips together, and about a week later, you have yourself a bowling ball of plastic that will wear your hands out after ten minutes of trying to crochet anything with it.

A tragic plarn side effect. 

 Then you put it away on shelf in the closet, find it three years later when you move, and quietly throw the catastrophe away, trying to forget about the hours lost gathering, cleaning, cutting, and linking millions of plastic strips together. But at least you found that 10mm hook you’d thought you lost.
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