An Optimistic Cynic - Etsy Shop

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry Freaking Christmas.

This years holiday has been full or orders to fill. Yay! I've crocheted my little fingies to the bone in an effort to get all the orders out in time for the 25th, leaving my own projects at the wayside for the moment. The question I keep getting asked over and over again is "Who buys these things?", and I have to answer,
"I honestly don't know."

I've started asking buyers to kindly send me a pic when they have the chance, with them and their new body part of choice, doing whatever it is they bought it for. I plan on posting the results of this experiment after the new year. So you have that to look forward too.

Between the day job, crocheting orders, going on randomly dispersed auditions, and holiday shopping, finding time to decorate for the holidays has been a challenge. The tree is up, and we eventually did decorate it with more than just a card and the pieces of popcorn I refrained from eating long enough to stick on a string. So that's somethin'. I decided to multi-task while showing, using the soap crayons to create a more festive bathing atmosphere.

I felt it was important that a variety of faiths be represented on my bathroom walls. I have pictured here the prerequisite Christmas tree (of course), a Yule log for the pagans, a menorah or the Jews, and I couldn't remember what the symbol for Kwanzaa was, so I just drew a friendly black man. Later I remembered they have their own multi-colored candle menorah, but I stand my my original representation. I also added a string of lights along the top.

We have, of course, showered since, and the tiled walls are now a festive murky brown.
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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Porksgiving! Part 2 : more pics

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010


No turkey for us this year. Josh walked through the apartment door with 27lbs of pork butt, grunting like a caveman returning from the hunt. Pork butt is actually part of the shoulder by the way, which of course didn't stop me from making frequent immature comments every step of the cooking process. He used a rub, so he first had to rub his butts *smirk*. He gave his butts a rest *giggle* as he set up the smoker in the alley. He tended to his butts *giggle* for about 17 total hours between prep time and cooking, and the result was a delicious pork feast, the leftovers of which are being quickly devoured with a healthy dose of 'Carolina Red Sauce'. I don't actually know what's in it, but it's red, and tasty, and I love pouring it all over my butt *giggle!*

I did the sides, which were simple - salt potatoes, stuffing, acorn squash, and a bean dish that I make with heavy cream, butter and bacon. Because really, how could something NOT taste good when made with heavy cream, butter and bacon? All in all, we probably consumed a full stick of butter each. And that's not including the pie!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH pie. That's really what Thanksgiving is all about for me. Growing up in an Italian home, we knew how to pie it up. As a kid the pie to person ratio was about 2 to 1, and that's not including the cookies, my Mom's famous 'pepto-pudding', my aunt's ridiculously addicting butter tarts, and other goodies. After dinner, we would then indulge in a meal of various pies. I remember going to Josh's house for Thanksgiving for the first time oh so many years ago now - there was only ONE pie! ONE! Culture shock.

I didn't want to go overboard because I knew in the end Josh was not going to have a pie meal with me, and it was just going to be me and the pie. I decided on 2 apple and 2 pumpkin. Pumpkin pies are tricky to handle. The filling is all liquid and in my NYC kitchen, there are no level surfaces to be found. With the first pie successfully in the oven, I went to put in the second pie, being oh so careful, steadying with both hands, bending over to gently place the fruit of my efforts onto the over rack - when the pie plate split down the middle, folding the pie in half, spilling pumpkin pie filling all over the inside of the oven door.

"PIE DOWN!" I screamed, frantically wiping down the inside of the over door with a wet towel. It was already starting to cook on the heated metal, so I wiped what I could off and onto the floor. The filling spread into the boiler, and the apartment was quickly starting to smell like burnt pie. Awesome. I cleaned up the floor, but the boiler was too hot and most of the filling was starting to crust over anyways, so I left it to be scraped off at a later time. I threw the mangled pie shell away, and started in on the cider-wine.

OOOooo the cider-wine! I poured a quart of apple cider and a bottle of Yellow Tail sharaz into my crock-pot, set it to low, and filled it up with cinnamon sticks, apple slices, nutmeg, a few cloves, and a sliced up tangerine. I started this little project when I woke up to watch the Macey's parade and enjoy a glass of red wine and orange juice, and left it to mull all day. FANTASTIC. Seriously one of the best ideas I've ever had. Ever.

Also watched the dog show after the parade, like I do every year. Rooted for the boarder collie, which I had, by which I mean my parents now have. John O'Hurley hosts it every year, and he cracks me up. Especially after a morning of wine/oj.
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Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween 2010 and The What?! Even More Pics

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Halloween 2010 and The What?! More Pics

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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween 2010 and The What?!

Glam!Smash Productions presents THE WHAT?! That's me as Nurse Rose in the Orange sweater. Josh did special effects and make up. I was dragged by a tentacle!

It was the perfect prelude to Halloween weekend. Here you see the mighty Cheetara about to lay the smackdown, suckah! The hell-spawn looking dude is Agnostes, a cenobyte creation from the mind of Clive Barker, incarnated in the flesh by Josh.
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Friday, October 29, 2010

You wanna toe? I can get you a toe...or a brain. Or lungs....with nailpolish!

Love love LOVE The Big Lebowski, so this is my tribute. Be an achiever, and go get your very own!

Also, I've been getting requests for more variety in the crocheted organ department, and I have listened to you people and been crocheting my little fingies to the bone. The brain and lungs have officially been added to An Optimistic Cynic's collection. Yay!

Thinking of doing a stomach next, perhaps a liver.... ooOOooo also filling a special request for a heart pillow... pics to come.

AND it's Halloween time! Getting in the spirit, we started this week shooting an awesome horror film trailer in a creepy old animal hospital. I was dragged down a ten foot hallway by a tentacle! WOOOO!

For Halloween I was feelin' all retro this year, and have decided to go as Cheetara, from The Thundercats, obv. More on that and Halloweens of previous years to follow. Hopefully BEFORE Halloween, but I've got lots to crochet this weekend, so no solid promises here.
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Thursday, October 7, 2010

YAARRRR! Thar be tentacles in me Headmeats!

These earrings are sculpted from Fimo clay. I had some old mismatched stud earrings in the bottom of my jewelry box that I did not know existed, and smooshed the clay around them, and proceeded to make them look all tentacaly. I have 3 holes in my right ear (thanks to an evening of boredom, and a sewing needle burnt over a candle), so the earring for that side it made up of 4 pieces to really give my ear that "Hey there's part of a sea creature squirming through your head" look. I know. I'm so vogue.

While there are many many available options in my wardrobe that would perfectly offset the tentacles in my head, I decided that I'd really go all out and continue with the sea theme, crocheting up this rockin' sweater dress. The pattern is actually out of Crochet Nation Stitch and Bitch, with a couple alterations to make up for the fact that I do not have like 7 bucks to spend per skein, so I buy the cheaper, though still wonderful and totally wearable wool/acrylic blend you see here.

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Monday, August 23, 2010


Crocheted cuff made with a tiny hook, crochet cotton and embroidary floss. Sold this almost immediatly after I'd finished it! Woot! Thinking I'll work up a few more....or maybe just relist this one and offer it in custom colors? Hmmmmmm....*thinky face*
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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Zombie Bunny

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Friday, August 6, 2010

Comic Book Hotties!

Here's a collection of comic book gals I drew.... Silk Spectre, Starfire, Raven, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Catwoman, Black Canary, Wonder Woman, and Black Cat. I was going for a Vargas pin-up quality here. These are hand colored prints - I decided to leave the originals in black and white in case I hated them in color, which I don't. In any case, now I can re-print and re-color them as they (hopefully) sell! I'm thinking ebay right now, although they may end up in the etsy shop....not sure what to do with them yet. Also, I have to mess with the scanner or something because the color is so washed out compared to the actual drawings. Ah well.

Funny thing about the Catwoman here - I must have drawn and erased her cat suit like 50 times before I was like, screw it, she's gonna be naked now.
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